A Few of My Irrational Fears (Complete with Full Rationalization!)

     I have always found the term "irrational fear" somewhat bothersome. Mostly, because I find it insulting. All of my fears are perfectly rational to me, or they would not be a fear. For example, you may have heard of the recently classified " the-glass-may-spontaneously-evaporate-and-cause-death-and-mass-hysteria-and-fish-are-not-that-interesting-to-look-at-to-take-the-risk-phobia.". Contemplating this today, I decided to compose a list of my more debilitating phobias, for your general entertainment. 

Here begins the list.

1-walking past the rattlesnake skin nailed to a board in my brother's room. I do not care that it has been dead for 20 years, it was once alive, it was taller then me, and there must be others like it. Plus, why do we even need a carcass on the wall?

2-getting in and out of bed in the dark. something (possibly gollum, or perhaps werewolf, but most likely "those of whom we do not speak") could be under my bed, waiting to grab my ankle. i have perfected the "leap from three feet away" method for after midnight.

3-rabbits. they are, after all, members of the rodent family. and no extra length of ear can take away from the twitching nose.

4-parking lot birds. have you ever looked in their beady little eyes?

5-roller coasters. because they might break. or go off the track, causing death and mass hysteria.

6-elevators. because they are scary.

7-that i might have to use math for legitimate reasons someday. because i have never fully comprehended it. because it is dumb.

I think that any truly rational person would agree, that these are all very rational fears.